I Have a Piece of Cow in My Heart

by John Pohl


I wake up
I have a piece of cow in my heart
I hear it always.

Sounds at my medical center
TNF alpha, Toll-like receptors
“I feel bad.  I feel weak. I have a fever.”
BRCA1 gene
“Mrs. Rodriguez, you have an abnormal mammogram”.
“But doctor, I’m 35 and have 2 children.  I can’t have cancer.”
APC gene
“You have colon cancer.  A CT scan is scheduled.  Our surgeons will talk to you.”
IL-10, heat shock proteins
The patient’s blood pressure is falling.  His cardiac
output cannot go any higher.  “I am dying.  I am scared.  Why
did they bring a minister to my room?”
MMP-9, TGF beta-1
“My asthma is really bad, doctor.”
Nitric oxide
“Will my baby boy get off the ventilator?”
CD4 T-cell count
“Differential includes infections, viruses, bacteria, fungi.  Why
does cancer sometimes act like an
infection?”
Stellate cells, HLA-DRB1
“Yeah, the other doctor said
I need to quit drinking.  I guess my liver
is worse…”
GABRA2, CRHR1
“…But I can’t stop, doc!”
Eotaxin, eosinophils
How fair is that?  Our country finally gets clean
water and antibiotics, infections subside, and we
get food allergies, asthma, and eczema.
I drive home from the hospital.  Stuck in traffic again. Thinking.
Multi-factorial genetic inheritance affecting me since birth
I always have to think about my heart.
I have a piece of cow in my heart.
I hear it always.
miRNA, genomics, proteomics, epigenetics.
Bacterial biodiversity influencing
my lifespan, interacting with my eukaryote cells. 
God, this is so complex.  I have a story written
in my genome.  I share the story with the billions
of my species.  The way my life will end is likely
written in my cells.  My children’s cells
share my same experience.
God, are you there?  Do you understand me?
No answer.

After dinner and before bed
I pray.  I read.  I search the literature.  
And then I hear it, I think…
I gave you a genome to show you mortality and to see the edge of My Eternity.
I gave you My Son to show you that I understand your fear.
I hear silence again.
I have a piece of cow in my heart.  Someday it will quit working.
But I have peace.

I go to bed
I have a piece of cow it my heart.
I hear it always.