God & Nature Magazine
  • 2025-#1 Issue
    • Letter from Editors 2025-1
    • Schrotenboer, Lying Dormant
    • Strauss, God Laughs & Smiles
    • Carr, Creation Stories
    • King, Falleness Physical World
    • Colon, A Hike
    • Thuraisingham, Identity
    • Bostrom 251 Every 6 Steps
    • Clifford 251, Just Starting Out
    • Johnson 251
    • Eyte, Touch
    • Budek-Schmeisser, Quitting
  • 2024-#4 (Fall) Issue
    • Letter from the Editors F24
    • Madison, 5 Smooth Stones
    • Dickenson, Genesis & Evolution
    • Berg, Is Genesis History?
    • Pinkham, Cells and Organs
    • Mitchell, Questions for AI
    • Taskinen, Alexander Grothendieck
    • Bostrom, On Camera F24
    • Clifford, Across the Pond F24
    • Johnson, Food for the Soul F24
    • Strand, Morning Prayer
    • Budek-Schmeisser, Sonrise
  • 2024-#3 (Summer) Issue
    • Letter from Editors Summer 24
    • Horst, Death through Adam
    • Bradley, Game Theory & Theology
    • Defoe, Science and Faith
    • Pickett, Wonder & Miracle
    • Touryan Wonder of Math
    • Wright, In The Beginning, God
    • Clifford Sum24
    • Johnson,, Summer 24
    • Eyte, Kaleidoscope
    • Budek-Schmeisser Bohemian Gravity
  • Past Issues
    • Spring 2024 Issue >
      • Editor's Letter Spring 2024
      • Miller, Sense of Place
      • Quick, Georg Cantor
      • Niemeyer, Research to Thriller
      • Carpenter, Creationism Inter-Textual
      • Defoe, Wittenberg Circle
      • Madison, Buttercups
      • Bostrom, Birds' Eye View
      • Clifford, What's the Use
      • Budek-Schmeisser, The Choice
      • Anderson, Van Gogh's Sunflowers
      • Lange, Summer Meadow
    • Winter 2024 Issue >
      • Garte and Albert W24
      • Fagunwa, Origen: Black Scientist
      • Gonzalez, Being Human
      • Defoe, A Pastor/s Journey
      • Curry, Birds of New Zealand
      • Lin, Environmental Problems
      • Garte, Genetics of Race
      • Pohl, Third Culture in Church
      • Bostrom, Mentors
      • Clifford, Hidden Figures
      • Albert; Poem. A Goldfish Sings a Tentative Psalm
      • Ardern Contact Points
    • Fall 2023 Issue >
      • Letter from Editors Fall 23
      • Owen, Mystery of the Trinity
      • Albert, Denialsim: A Case Study
      • King, Elements in the Bible
      • Carpenter, When was Day One?
      • Spaulding, Guided Differentiation
      • Greuel, Vision for the ACB
      • Bostrom, Lady Bugs
      • Clifford, Small Things
      • Gentleman, 30/80 Anno Domini
    • Summer 2023 Issue >
      • Letter from Editors Summer 23
      • Touryan, Feathers
      • Stenerson, Horseshoe Crabs
      • Hull, Evolving Scotus
      • Silva, Younger Ages
      • Williams, Dense Obscurity
      • Bostrom, Water Cries
      • Clifford, To Church Repair
      • Craig, Heavenly Lights
      • Valerius, Nothing to Something
      • Pinkham, Wisedrop
    • Spring 2023 Issue >
      • Letter from Editors Spring 2023
      • Rummo Lewis and the Cross
      • Pagan Biodiversity
      • Funck Assembly Theory and Life
      • Williams Thus Far
      • Mitchell Making Mistakes
      • Phillippy Living in Paradox
      • Bostrom Rain Shadow
      • Clifford Sustainable Cooking
      • Budek-Schmeisser, Completion
    • Winter 2023 Issue >
      • Letter From the Editors
      • Braden, A Modern Bestiary
      • Garte, Assembly Theory
      • Defoe, The Heavens Declare
      • Greenberg, Bonding
      • Barrigar, God's Big Story
      • Phillippy, Overcoming Paradox
      • Bostrom, Near
      • Clifford, Hidden Figures
    • Fall 2022 Issue >
      • Letter Fall22
      • Curry, Attentiveness
      • Russo, Deconstruction
      • Touryan, Four Forces
      • Mittchell, Three Words
      • Philippy, Math Theology Fall 22
      • Bostrom, Goodbyes
      • Clifford FAll 22
      • Linsley, Mystic Exile
      • Hall, A Call to Arms
    • Summer 2022 Issue >
      • Letter Summer 2022
      • Engelking, Neurotheology
      • Kelley, Environmentalism
      • Garte, Sandpipers
      • Madison, Cultivating Contentment
      • Collins, Answers on Evolution
      • Touryan, Tentmakers
      • Oord, Ever-Creative God
      • Bostrom, Mentors
      • Clifford, Carbon and Sin
      • Campbell, Just, In Time
    • Spring 2022 Issue >
      • Letter from the Editors Spring 2022
      • Curry, Knowldege and Truth
      • Pinkham, On a Car Emblem
      • Murray, Candling the Egg
      • Carr, Music, Math, Religion
      • Smith, Wonder and Longing
      • Linsky, Cyber Service
      • Bostrom, Buteo
      • Obi, Coincidences
    • Winter 2022 Issue >
      • Garte &Albert Letter Winter 2022
      • Thuraisingham Pondering Invisible
      • Cornwell Mediations from Molecular Biologist
      • Fagunwa Blsck Scientist & Church Father
      • Garte A Dialogue
      • Gonzalez Being Human
      • Klein Naturalist in Two Worlds
      • Bostrom Creeds
      • Clifford Winter 2022
      • Ardern Contact Points
      • Cooper Imagine No Christmas
    • Fall 2021 Issue >
      • Garte &Albert Letter Fall2021
      • Johnson, God Winks
      • Cottraux, Ancient Aliens
      • Arveson, Anti-Vax Email
      • Gammon, Evolutionary Insights
      • Mitchell, No One Told Me
      • Rummo, Faith in the Invisible
      • Bostrom, Fall Furrows
      • Lemcio, A Franciscan Weekend
      • Funk, Plant Haiku
      • Robinson & Lim, Who is God?
    • Summer 2021 Issue >
      • Garte &Albert Letter Sum2021
      • Warren, Immunization and Salvation
      • Defoe, Bernard Ramm
      • Cornwell Canine to Divine
      • Mix, Running with Nature
      • Pinkham, Scuba Divers
      • Cao, Physics and Bible
      • Bostrom, Sugar Birds
      • Clifford Sum21
      • Oostema, Evolution of Faith
      • Hall, Generation upon Generation
    • Spring 2021 Issue >
      • Garte and Albert Letter Spring 2021
      • Loikanen, Divine Action
      • Madison, Humus and Humility
      • Lappin, Puddles and Persons
      • Cornwell, God's GPS
      • Touryan, Contolled Fusion
      • Russo, Vaccine and Salvation
      • Bostrom, Short-eared Owl
      • Redkoles, Expect Unexpected
      • Clifford, Boring
      • McFarland, Imposition of Carbon
      • Lemcio, Manis Mastodon
    • Winter 2021 Issue >
      • Winter 2021 Contents >
        • Garte and Albert Letter from the Editors
        • Burnett How iit All Started
        • Isaac Director's Corner
        • Ruppel Herrington, First Editor
        • Burnett Origin of Lire
        • Hearn Balance
        • Middleton Natural Theology
        • Story Antibodies and Randomness
        • Lamoureux I Sleep a Lot
        • Warren Overloaded Brains
        • Isaac Knowledge of Information
        • Bancewicz Wonder and Zebrafish
        • Oord Photoessay
        • Albert Hope in Winter
        • Clifford Storytelling & Drama in Teaching
        • Pohl The Column (Poetry)
    • Fall 2020 Issue >
      • Letter from Editors
      • Pohl, Panpsychism and Microbiome
      • Reyes, Communion During Loss
      • Griffin, Hands On
      • Azarvan, Science and Limits
      • Cornwell, Search Engines for God
      • Thuraisingham, Duality of Humans and Particles
      • Touryan, Prayers of Petition
      • George, Perfect Vision
      • Declare the Glory, Green: Awe
      • Bostrom Purpose
      • Oord, Theological Photoessay
      • Clifford, Food, Water, Waste
    • Summer 2020 Issue >
      • Summer 2020 Contents >
        • Editors Letter Summer2020
        • Jones, Science Faith Duopoly
        • Mix, God and the Virus
        • Warner, COVID-19 and Goodness of Creation
        • Gonzalez, Pandemic and Groaning of Creation
        • Johnson, Star Wars Food
        • Pyle, It Takes a (Medical ) Village
        • Arveson, Use for 3D Printers
        • Peterson, Pandemic and Research
        • Zeidan, Mentorship Online
        • Oleskeiwicz, Dragonfly on Water
        • Carr, COVID-19 and Climate Change
        • Nierrman, The Squirrel
        • Cornwell, COVIS-19 Bucket List
        • Bostrom, Grass Thoughts
        • Clifford, Summ20 Conflict
    • Spring 2020 Issue >
      • Letter from the Editors SP20
      • AD
      • Murphy, Nature and Calvary
      • Dickin, The Flood and Genesis 1
      • Gruenberg, Empiricism and Christian Spirituality
      • Ungureanu, Science, Religion, Protestant Tradition
      • Russo, How does it End?
      • Siegrist, Problems with Materialism
      • Ohlman, 20/20 in 2020
      • Warren, Rock Frogs
      • Edwards, Sanctuary
      • Bostrom, Clothed
      • Clifford, The Lent of Lockdown Spring 2020
      • Hall, 1:30 AM on a Tuesday (Poem)
    • Winter 2020 Issue >
      • Letter from the Editor Winter 2020
      • AD
      • Wimberly Inheritance, Meaning and Code
      • Defoe; A Pastor's Journey
      • Mix The Ends of the World
      • Pevarnik Limits of Physics
      • Greenberg "Godly" Science
      • Pinkham Teleological Thinking
      • Alexanian How to Witness
      • "Declare the Glory" Neal, Cross, Gait
      • Clifford "Across the Pond" Winter 2020
      • Oord "Theological Photoessays" Winter 2020
      • Salviander The Objective Man (Poem)
      • Ohlman Orphan of the Universe (Poem)
      • Lemcio Grey's Anatomy (Poem)
    • Fall 2019 Issue >
      • Letter from the Editor Fall 2019
      • Phillippy Mathematics and God
      • Pohl & Thoelen Databases
      • Garte Limits of Science
      • Mitroka Healthy Lifestyle
      • Sigmon Science and Revelation
      • Mariani Compatibility Creation and Evolution
      • Anders Theistic Evolution
      • Touryan Are we alone
      • Johnson Purpose and Source
      • Declare the Glory Curry, Smith, Best
      • Clifford "Across the Pond" Fall 19
      • Oord "Theological Photoessays Fall 19
      • Eyte Cross Cascade "Poem"
    • Summer 2019 Issue >
      • Letter from the Editor Summer 2019
      • Arveson Is There a “Theory of Everything”
      • Anderson The History and Philosophy of Science and Faith
      • Tolsma Science in Church
      • Salviander Black Holes and Atheism
      • Johnson Practical Problems for Literal Adam
      • Hall God and the Assumptions of Scientific Research
      • Linsky Overcoming Misconceptions
      • Wilder Sanctity of Creation
      • Clifford "Across the Pond" Summer19
      • Oord "Theological Photoessays" Summer 2019
      • Flaig Time and Me (Poem)
    • Spring 2019: Creation Care and Environment >
      • Letter from the Editor Spring 2019
      • Bancewicz;Sustainability Pledge: Why the Environment is My Problem
      • Lin; Environmental Problems as a Place for Compromise and Dialogue
      • Garvey; Where the Fall Really Lies
      • Lewis; Solar-Powered Life: Providing Food, Oxygen and Protection
      • Garte; Time and Human Impact on the Environment
      • Mays; Reforming Science Textbooks
      • Carr; Cosmic Energy First, Then Matter: A Spiritual Ethic
      • Kincanon; The Young Earthers and Leibniz
      • Declare the Glory Gauger
      • Clifford "Across the Pond" Spring 2019
      • Oord; Photoessay. Theological Photo Essays
      • Rivera; Photoessay. Digital Artwork: Images of Jesus
      • Albert; Poem. A Goldfish Sings a Tentative Psalm
      • Armstrong; Poem Holy Sonnet XI
    • Winter 2019: Education and Outreach 2 >
      • Letter from the Editor, Winter 2009
      • Applegate; Project Under Construction: Faith Integration Resource for High School Biology
      • LaBelle; Sidewalk Astronomy Evangelism - Taking it to the Streets!
      • Reed; Speaking to the Heart and Mind of Students about Evolution and Creation
      • Marcus; The Conflict Model
      • Rivera; The Implicit Assumptions behind Hitchen's Razor
      • Russo; Redeeming Bias in Discussion of Science and Faith
      • Fischer; Origins, Genesis and Adam
      • Clifford Column, Winter 2019
      • Gait; Photoessay - Stripes
      • Lee; Poem. In Chaos and Nothingness
    • Fall 2018: Education and Outreach 1 >
      • Letter from the Editor Fall 2018
      • Glaze; A Walk within Two Worlds: Faith, Science, and Evolution Advocacy
      • Johnson; Teaching the Controversy in Texas
      • Cootsona; Mere Christianity, Mainstream Science and Emerging Adults
      • Kindstedt; Creating a Third Culture
      • Zeidan; An Effective Way to Integrate Supportive Communication and Christian Belief into Virtual Classrooms
      • Marshall; A New Model of Causation
      • McClure; Nothing in the Bible Makes Sense Except in the Light of Grace
      • Frank; Christianity, Science and Teamwork
      • Assad/Reyes; Interview. Discovering a Renewed Sense of Awe and Wonder about God
      • Clifford Column Fall 2018
      • Menninga; Photoessay. What do These Stones Mean?
    • Summer 2018: Judgment and Peer Review >
      • Letter from the Editors Summer 2018
      • Jones; Peer Review: Avoiding Judgmentalism
      • Arnold; Discovering Spiritual Information Through Peer-Reviewed Science
      • Peterson; Peering at Double-Blind Peer Review
      • Smith; A Philosophical Influence from the Scientific Revolution on Scientific Judgment
      • Mix; The Poetry of Probability
      • Mobley; Randomness vs. the Providence of God?
      • Gordon; Chances are Good: Design and Chance in Genesis 1
      • Siegrist; But the Multiverse...!
      • Reyes; The Community Table: Interview with Marianne Johnson
      • Clifford Column Summer 2018
      • Hill; Poem. Synthesis
      • Lemcio; Poem. I Could See Where This was Going
      • Oord: Photoessay
    • Spring 2018: Chance & Design >
      • Letter from the Editors
      • Bishop; God, Love and Chance
      • Bonham; Quantum Reflections
      • Spaulding; God as Designer
      • Garte; Teleology in Evolution
      • Hall; God, Chance and Buridan's Ox
      • Pohl; Why We Need a Third Culture in Church
      • Dorman; Liturgical Brain
      • Warren; Galapagos
      • Blanchard; On Christian Science
      • Touryan; The Cross as a Cosmic Filter
    • Winter 2018: Race & Inheritance >
      • A Note from the Editors
      • Essay: “Some Pastoral Considerations of CRISPR CAS 9 Gene Editing” by Mario A Russo
      • Essay: “The Genetics and Theology of Race” by Sy Garte
      • Essay: "Grieve the Segregation of Science" by S. Joshua Swamidass
      • Poem: "Cardboard Man" by Ciara Reyes
      • Featured Interview: “Love Is Risk” with Carolyn Finney
      • Essay & Poem: “Abortion Languages: Love, fear, confusion and loss”
      • Essay: "Why the Church Needs Intersectional Feminism" by Emily Herrington
      • Essay: “Elected to Salvation (and other things?)” by Bill Leonard
      • Essay: “Local Colour: A reflection on family, history, and heritage” by Mike Clifford
      • Interview: Corina Newsome, environmentalist and animal keeper
      • Essay: “Spiritual Kin Selection” by Steve Roels
      • Photo Essay: "Trouble in Paradise: Plastic pollution in the Bahamas" by Grace Swing & Robert D Sluka
      • Essay: “Race & Inheritance: Personal reflections and annotations” by Walt Hearn
      • Interview: Carla Ramos, molecular biologist
      • Clifford Column; Discipine Hopping
      • Lemcio; Waves
      • Harris Artwork
      • Hearn; Eulogy - Beyond Science,
    • Summer 17: Cosmology & Theology >
      • Letter from the Editors: Summer 2017
      • Essay: "The News from My Home Galaxy" by Walt Hearn
      • Interview: "Deep Incarnation & the Cosmos: A Conversation with Niels Henrik Gregersen" by Ciara Reyes & Niels Henrik Gregersen
      • Photo Essay: "Breath & Dust" by Kathleen Eady
      • Essay: "Why the Eagle Nebula Just Doesn’t Do It For Me" by Mike Clifford
      • Essay: "The Cosmos in My Hand" by Lucas Mix
      • Interview: “What is Life? On Earth and Beyond” with Andreas Losch
      • Artwork by Missy Pellone
      • Essay: "When God & Science Hide Reality" by Davis Woodworth
      • Essay: "​In Search of Wonder: A Reflection on Reconciling Medieval and Modern Cosmology" by Monica Bennett
      • Essay: "If Christianity and Cosmology Are in Conflict, Whose Side Is Philosophy on?" by Vaughan Rees
    • Winter/Spring 17: "Flesh & Blood" >
      • Letter from the Editor: Winter/Spring 2017
      • Essay: "Probiotics, Prebiotics, Synbiotics: On microbiomes and the meaning of life" by John F. Pohl
      • Essay: "With All Your Mind" by Paul S. Kindsedt
      • Essay: "The Stuff of Life" by Mike Clifford
      • Essay: "Experiencing God’s Love in a Secular Society: A Christian experience with socialized medicine" by Alison Noble
      • Poem: "The Problem with Pain" by Eugne E. Lemcio
      • Essay: "Thoughts of Death in a Cruel World: Job’s suicidal ideation and the “right” Christian response to depression" by Jennifer Michael Hecht and Emily Herrington
      • Essay: "Tissues at Issue" by Walt Hearn
      • Essay: "The Dilemma of Modern Christianity" by Tony Mitchell
      • Poem: "Light" by Billie Holladay Skelley
      • Essay: "Some Theological Implications of Science: Revisiting the Ant" by Mario A. Russo
    • Summer/Fall 16: "Stewardship of Words" >
      • Letter from the Editor: Summer 2016
      • Levity: "Walt Being Walt: Excerpts from the ASA newsletter" by Walt Hearn (compiled by Jack Haas & Emily Ruppel)
      • Poem: "A Prayer Tribute to Walt and Ginny Hearn" by Paul Fayter
      • Essay: "Authentic Science & Authentic Christian Faith" by Paul Arveson
      • Essay: "On Modern-Day Saints & Epistles" by Emily Ruppel
      • Essay: "​Mathematics and the Religious Impulse" by Karl Giberson
      • Poem: "The Wasteful Gene" by Eugne E. Lemcio
      • Three Poems by Dan Eumurian
      • Excerpts from: "The Dictionary of Daily Life in Biblical and Post-Biblical Antiquity" by Edwin Yamauchi
      • Essay: "A Comprehensible Universe: The blessing from God that makes science possible" by Bob Kaita
      • Poem: "The Epistolarian" by Emily Ruppel
    • Spring 16: "Brain Science" >
      • Letter from the Editor: Spring 2016
      • Essay: "Ancient Q, Modern A (?)" by Walt Hearn
      • Essay: "Souls, Brains and People: Who or what are we?" by Gareth D. Jones
      • Essay: "A Functional Theology of Psychopathology" by Edgar Paul Herrington IV
      • Three Poems by Richard Gillum
      • Essay: "Thoughts of Death in an Unkind World: Job’s suicidal ideation and the “right” Christian response to depression" by Jennifer Michael Hecht
      • Short Story: "Malefic" by Jeffrey Allen Mays
      • Essay: "An Engineer Visits a Mindfulness Workshop" by Mike Clifford
      • Essay: "Traces of Trauma in the Body of Christ: The case of The Place of Refuge" by Elizabeth Hernandez
      • Essay: "Did God ‘Create’ Science? Christianity and the uniqueness of the human brain" by William H. Church
    • Winter 16: "Quantum Physics/Epigenetics" >
      • Letter from the Editor: Winter 2016
      • Essay: "God and the New Evolutionary Biology" by Sy Garte
      • Essay: "Quantum Mechanics and the Question of Divine Knowledge" by Stephen J. Robinson
      • Essay: "Creation Out of... Physics?" by Joshua Scott
      • Essay: "Of Books and Bosons" by Mike Clifford
      • Essay: "Words, Words, Words" by Walt Hearn
      • Poem: "Encountering Ernst Haeckel’s 'Ontogeny Recapitulates Phylogeny'" by Eugene Lemcio
      • Essay: "The Extended Evolutionary Synthesis: New conversations and theological questions at the horizons of modern science" by Michael Burdett
      • Poem: "The Difference" by Emily Ruppel
      • Essay: "Maupertuis's Ghost: Finding God in 'action'" by Colin C. Campbell
    • Fall 15: "Technology" >
      • Letter from the Editor: Fall 2015
      • Essay: "‘Braving the New World (Wide Web): Mapping Theological Response to Media" by Justin A. Bailey
      • Poem: "Entropy and Enthalpy" by Glenn R. McGlaughlin
      • Essay: "‘How Proactive Should Christians Be in Learning about Emerging Biomedical Technologies?" by D. Gareth Jones
      • Essay: "‘Can We Fix It? Erm..." by Mike Clifford
      • Poem: "To My Dear Parents" by Sarah Ruden
      • Essay: "‘Which Side, Lord?" by Walt Hearn
      • Poem: "The Column" by John F. Pohl
      • Essay: "‘Technology and the Church" by Derek Schuurman
      • Poem: "On the Shores of Oroumieh" by Emily Ruppel
      • Essay: "‘Technology as Discipline" by Johnny Wei-Bing Lin
    • Summer 15: "Doubt" >
      • Letter from the Editor: Summer 2015
      • Essay: "‘The Road Not Taken’: A personal reflection on careers, counterfactuals and callings" by Tim Middleton
      • Essay: "The Gift of Doubt in My Life" by Rev. Paul Herrington
      • Poem: "The Marsh Birds" by Sarah Ruden
      • Essay: "On St Brendan and the Pendulum of Postgraduate Study" by Mike Clifford
      • Essay: "Doubt: The Invisible Conversation" by Karl W. Giberson
      • Essay: "Doubt, Faith, and Crevasses on My Mind" by Peter M. J. Hess
      • Poem: "Magdalene" by Leonore Wilson
      • Essay: "Breaking Barriers, Ministering in Relationships, and Exemplifying the Gospel" by Stephen Contakes, et al.
      • Poem: "On the Extinction of Matter Near a Black Hole" by Ruth Hoppin
      • Essay: "Sometimes I Doubt..." by Walt Hearn
      • Essay: "The Risks of Love and Life's Big Questions" by Thomas Jay Oord
    • Spring 15: "Animals/Imago Dei" >
      • Letter from the Editor: Spring 2015
      • Essay: "50 Years of Wilderness: a Christian perspective" by Peter van der Burgt
      • Essay: "All Creatures Great and Small " by Walt Hearn
      • Essay: "Let There Be Less: A Christian musing on nature, faith, and farmers’ markets" by Emily Ruppel
      • Poem: "The New Plant and Animal Kingdoms" by Steve Roels
      • Essay: "Of Wonder and Zebrafish" by Ruth Bancewicz
      • Essay: "The Lion, the Spider and the Image of God" by Mike Clifford
      • Cat Poem 1: "Lullaby for Stomp the Cat" by Sarah Ruden
      • Cat Poem 2: "Letting the Dog In" by Emily Ruppel
      • Cat Poem 3: "Reading on the Couch" by Carol Ruppel
      • Essay: "Angry Discussions: A Wrong Way to Stand for Creation Care or Science Advocacy " by Oscar Gonzalez
      • Essay: "Ethical Eating on a Catholic Campus: Some thoughts from a student of environmental studies" by Grace Mican
    • Winter 15: "Information" >
      • Letter from the Editor: Winter 2015
      • Essay: "What Does it Mean to Know?" by Mark Shelhamer
      • Essay: "Knowledge of Information" by Randy Isaac
      • Photo Essay: "Being Here" by Carol Ruppel
      • Essay: "Truth Anyone?" by Walt Hearn
      • Poem: "Transformation" by Ruth Hoppin
      • Interview: "Unpacking Chance, Providence, and the Abraham's Dice Conference" by Olivia Peterson
      • Essay: "On Knowledge and Information–Tales from an English childhood" by Mike Clifford
      • Poem: "Space Travel" by Ruth Hoppin
      • Essay: "Resuming the Science/Faith Conversation" by Jamin Hubner
    • Archives >
      • Past Contributors
      • Fall 14: "History of Science & Christianity" >
        • Letter from the Editor: Fall 2014
        • Essay: "Orchids: Why the founders of modern science cultivated virtue" by Ruth Bancewicz
        • Essay: "Science Falsely So Called: Fundamentalism and Science" by Edward B. Davis
        • Essay: "The Other 'Atom' in Christianity and Science" by Karissa D Carlson
        • Poem: "The Hermit" by Ciara C. Reyes
        • Essay: "Players" by Walt Hearn
        • Essay: "Using Storytelling and Drama in Engineering Lectures" by Mike Clifford
        • Essay: "Is There Anything Historical About Adam and Eve?" by Mike Beidler
        • Essay: "Finding Harmony in Controversy: The early years of the ASA" by Terry Gray and Emily Ruppel
        • Levity: "Fish n' Chips" by Mike Arnold
        • Essay: "Stories" by Walt Hearn
      • Summer 14: "Christian Women in Science" >
        • Letter from the Editor: Summer 2014
        • Essay: "I Really Did That Work: A brief survey of notable Christian Women in Science" by Lynn Billman
        • Essay: "He + She = We" by Walt Hearn
        • Photo Essay: "The Faces of Nature" by Susan Limone
        • Essay: "On Grass that Withers: Overloaded brains and spiritual discernment" by Janet Warren
        • Interview: "Ancient Humans and Modern Choices" with Briana Pobiner
        • Essay: "Crystallographer, Quaker, Pacifist, & Trailblazing Woman of Science: Kathleen Lonsdale’s Christian Life 'Lived Experimentally'” by Kylie Miller and Stephen M. Contakes
        • Artwork: "Eden, Zion" by Harold Sikkema
        • Essay: "Asking the Right Question" by Dorothy Boorse
        • Interview: "Not So Dry Bones" with Mary Schweitzer
        • Essay: "Is Being a Mother and a Scientist Worth It?" by Abby Hodges
        • Essay: "Playing God: A theological reflection on medicine, divine action, and personhood" by Ann Pederson
        • Column: Great Gravity! "BNL 1976 – 2000 (Part 1)"
      • Spring 14: "G&N: The 2-year tour" >
        • Letter from the Editor: Spring 2014
        • Essay: "Political Science?" by Walt Hearn
        • Comic: "Education"
        • Essay: "Finding Hominids with Kamoya Kimeu" by Fred Heeren
        • Poem: "Ziggurat (and Helix)" by Amy Chai
        • Creative Nonfiction: "One Summer" by Dave Harrity
        • Essay: "Do the Heavens Declare the Glory of God?" by Owen Gingerich
        • Comic: "Miracle Mechanics" by Emily Ruppel
        • Essay: "I Sleep A Lot" by Denis O. Lamoureux
        • Poem: "Angels and RNA" by Walt Hearn
        • Comic: "Seminary"
        • Essay: "The Elegance of Antibodies" by Craig M. Story
        • Photo Essay: "Conversing with Nature" by Thomas Jay Oord
        • Essay: "Under the Tutelage of Trees: Arboreal Lessons on Virtue, Kinship, and Integrity" by Peter M. J. Hess
        • Comic: "Humor"
        • Essay: "Science and Scientism in Biology" by Sy Garte
        • Interview: "Biopsychology and Faith" with Heather Looy
      • Winter 14: "Health & Medicine" >
        • Letter from the Editor: Winter 2014
        • Poem: I Have a Piece of Cow in My Heart
        • Essay: Acts of God: Are all mutations random?
        • Column: Beyond Science
        • Poem: Psalm 1859
        • Essay: The Tao of Departing
        • Essay: The Tao of Departing p 2
        • Photo Essay: Walking in Winter
        • Essay: A Christian Doctor on Evolution, Faith, and Suffering
        • Opinion: Making Friends with Frankencorn
        • Poem: Chiaroscuro
        • Interview: "Biopsychology and Faith" with Heather Looy
        • Essay: "The Elegance of Antibodies"
        • Artwork: "Helix" by Harold Sikkema
        • Column: Great Gravity! "Dissertations and Revelations"
      • Fall 13: "Environmentalism" >
        • Letter from the Editor: Fall 2013
        • Poem: Time
        • Essay: Is there Hope for the Ocean?
        • Artwork: "Earthly Tent" by Harold Sikkema
        • Essay: What is Responsible Eating?
        • Essay: Are We Too Obsessed with Food?
        • Poem: Conversation on Creation
        • Essay: Creation Care from the Perspective of a Conservation Geneticist
        • Essay: Mobilizing Scientists for Environmental Missions
        • Poem: Paleocene Spring
        • Interview: Dorothy Boorse
        • Column: Beyond Science
        • Essay: New Testament Motivation for Environmental Stewardship
        • Poem: Stone of House
        • Column: Great Gravity! "Running the Data"
      • Summer 13: "Science & Creativity" >
        • Column: Beyond Science
        • Letter from the Editor: Summer 2013
        • Column: Faith on the Field
        • Poem: Trying Not to Be Too Sunny
        • Comic: "Work in Progress"
        • Essay: Do the Heavens Declare the Glory of God?
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Abortion Languages: Love, fear, confusion and loss

By Heather Hyden
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Right now, we are in a terrifying time when a fetus is fetishized above healthcare access. We would rather throw gender reveal parties and argue over fetal personhood than ask ourselves very basic questions about maternal healthcare systems.

We rarely stop to ask: “Is pregnancy dangerous?” And if so, “How?” And, “What full spectrum of support do women need during pregnancy?” and, “How can we ensure healthy outcomes for all women and babies?” and, “Why do we perform abortions in clinics and not in hospitals?" and, “What is an abortion?” and, “Why are credentialed and experienced ob-gyns forced to follow Catholic hospital policies rather than sound medical practice when treating non-viable pregnancies?”

Under the best circumstances, pregnancy is random, unpredictable and the birth of a healthy human is as much a matter of luck as sound scientific practice. Our healthcare system is failing women and babies, yet the loudest issue regarding women’s health is over a normal, safe procedure: abortion. We allow hateful rhetoric to dominate political campaigns, harass women in one of the most vulnerable situations of their lives, and fail to gain relevant knowledge about the real decision-making processes and behaviors that lead to healthy babies and families.

Is the labor that brings us life so worthless in our society that we would rather maintain ignorance about how we could more comprehensively support the mothers who go through it?  

If we truly want to bring value to human life and even lift it up on a moral pedestal, we have to improve our health and legal systems so it can thrive. Until then, we will only further splinter prenatal, birth and postpartum care.

Below are my abortion stories for you to consider. I encourage you to see them through the lens of comprehensive healthcare needs. I challenge you to listen and to see me not as an activist, but as a mother.

I’ve had two abortions...maybe. It depends on who is defining it. The first one seems as though it  fits the definition cast by traditional “anti-choice” rhetoric. I was pregnant at 19 after the “morning after” pill failed (the ob-gyn nurse on-call that morning refused to submit my prescription, forcing me to call the office insistently and losing precious hours from the window of affect. So, who really had more influence on the relationship of the conception/termination events?)

I spent the next six weeks thinking through every possible option including relocating to England where the other biological half of this chaos resided. In the end, I knew I would resent the child. After spending years raising my little brothers and surviving childhood abuse, I was not emotionally capable. I was mentally unstable on top of being economically and socially inept. So, at almost twelve weeks from my last period, I was at a clinic in Memphis being harrassed by religious zealots and trying to comfort the very young women all around me—most of whom already had children.

When I look back, I also remember being extremely ill the entire time I was pregnant. Now that I know one in four pregnancies end in a “miscarriage,” I wonder if my body would have spontaneously aborted that pregnancy by itself. It is all so incredibly random.

In none of the movies we watch where a woman finds out she’s pregnant is there a discussion about miscarriage (unless the miscarriage is set up as the antagonist to a loving married couple who were dying to get pregnant). When the blue lines are revealed, we are immediately trained to ask: “Will she keep it?” We are dangerously ignorant of the experiences many women endure through pregnancy.

The “abortion” options in Memphis told me I had to make the decision by thirteen weeks or I wouldn’t have access. Who knows what would have happened if I had been given more time like in other parts of the country? Who knows if I even knew all of my options? There certainly were no doctors or full spectrum doulas providing me with comprehensive healthcare. It was black and white-forced dichotomy on a very grey issue.

The one caregiver that I do remember from that time was my father. I moved in with him after finding out I was pregnant so I could get on my feet financially. This is a man who at that time had been a faithful pastor my entire life to a conservative congregation in the Cumberland Presbyterian denomination. But, he pastored me during that time.

I remember coming home that night from the clinic to a large bouquet of flowers and a note offering to get me anything I needed to eat. I still remember his kindness when I think of what non-judgmental Christianity can be.


Fast-forward ten years later and I am trying to start a family for the first time. It happened quickly and my partner and I were elated. We began researching prenatal care options and making maternity leave plans. But, this pregnancy’s chromosomal configuration had other plans. The fetus was left with a monosomy X structure, while a Y had transferred to my placenta. (We were first told we were having a boy and had a low risk of fetal anomalies, but those early fetal free DNA tests can detect a Y if it lingers in the placenta.) Later an amniocentesis confirmed the fetus had Turners Syndrome (Monosomy X). This is not normally a severe fetal anomaly diagnosis, but our daughter had a large cystic hygroma, hydrops fetalis and a full body edema. She had a heartbeat, but all of her organs were being inundated with fluid. We watched her symptoms continue to worsen during every ultrasound, of which we must have had at least ten, between nine weeks when her full body edema was first detected, through twenty weeks.

I can’t express how physically and emotionally draining it felt to know the situation was not going to get better and finally that we should expect a miscarriage. And that was just the biophysical trauma.

The further layer of trauma came from political and religious institutions legislating my pregnancy. We were seeing a high-risk maternal fetal specialist at a Catholic hospital for our care. This means there was a ‘heartbeat rule’ governing my body. I remember being in complete shock to learn that my care was being legislated. I really couldn’t believe it was possible. The first time it hit me was when I was 18.5 weeks and rushed into the hospital when I thought contractions had started. The nurse checked for dilation and we locked eyes. She was just as disappointed as I was to know that there was nothing the hospital could do for me. I wiped up the lubricant and felt like a small animal with my tail between my legs. Earlier that week we had also asked our doctor to get permission to induce me from the ethics review board, but every time we called to ask about it the nurses shuffled and avoided a straight answer. Looking back, I can’t believe I didn’t ask them more. Didn’t stand up for myself more. But, I’ve learned this year that many women feel disempowered about their prenatal care and birth. I’m not alone. This is how the prenatal care system works in this country.

There is a level of shock that comes over your body and mind when you’re pregnant and I’m not sure there is a word in our language to describe it. Maybe it’s a new word that needs to be invented to describe the modern experience of pregnancy. I don’t know what the word should be, but that’s how I felt and I know that increased regulations and legislation on the prenatal care environment are not going to improve pregnancy and birth outcomes. I could feel the fear in that nurse as she pulled her fingers from me. I know she felt sorry for me. She felt trapped with me. In all of her wisdom and expertise, she wanted to help, but that policy handbook was somehow more powerful.

That weekend I was desperate. I began calling every person I knew in my reproductive rights network. And, late one night I made a life changing connection. I met a full spectrum doula. A woman who is trained to guide women through any pregnancy situation including abortion, miscarriage and stillbirth care.

She drove to me immediately and asked the questions I was holding in my shockwave. A simple question, “What reasons are they giving for not inducing you?” I had absolutely no good answer. She began furiously calling every doctor and midwife she knew. I couldn’t believe there could be another option. I started securing funds in case we needed to travel out of state and making appointments. We were less than two weeks away from the statewide 20 week abortion ban, which had passed as emergency legislation one month prior, and I felt like the flames of an incinerator were crisping my toes as we got closer to the deadline.

The fact is, my only option if we crossed the (arbitrary and completely political) newly passed 20-week abortion ban deadline was to carry the doomed fetus to term, possibly losing months of my life to sickness and actually risking my life in delivery. (”Mirror syndrome” describes the condition whereby a mother takes on the same symptoms as the fetus. In my case, this meant my body and organs filling up with fluid.)

Many women find pregnancy terrifying. The race against time necessitated by this ban was beyond terrifying; it was terrifying, dehumanizing, insulting, demoralizing, and deeply, I felt, un-Christian in its comportment towards humanity.

Finally, our doula found a doctor. Someone who performs abortions at the last remaining abortion clinic in our state, but who also delivers babies at the ONLY labor and delivery department in the entire state NOT governed by Catholic hospital policies. In fact, it was the only department in the whole hospital that had been cut off from the Catholic system because they had two abortion care providers on staff.

The next few days were a frenzy as the doctor had to get approval from her review board, my medical records had to be transferred and we had to get pre-approval from my insurance company. And somehow it all came together. It was the most cathartic ‘Yes’ I have ever received. I felt like I could finally rest. I felt heard.

On February 19th, at 2:28 a.m. I delivered my daughter in a hospital surrounded by my family, my doula and an outstanding nursing staff. I was able to hold her and the doctors were able to confirm her diagnosis and identify a neural tube defect at the base of her spine. They were able to send her to pathology where she had her organs donated for research. This research could help save more babies and will help us understand why some fetuses get more sick than others. I had an abortion. I ended a wanted pregnancy. I gave birth. It all meant something. It was far greater than me.

As I look back almost a year later, what has been the most fascinating to me is how my experience fits under so many varied definitions. To the grief counselors and with proof of a birth certificate, I had a “stillborn”. To the reproductive rights community I had a late term “abortion” and to another network I “ended a wanted pregnancy”.

On my first medical bill, the procedure was called ‘abortion’ and of course my insurance company denied coverage even though we had pre-approval before the procedure. That bill sat on my kitchen table haunting me for weeks before I called to contest it. When I finally started calling it took six months before we learned that the medical coders at the hospital had changed positions between the time I got pre-approval and when the bill was sent to my insurance company. In the end, it was re-coded as an “early induction for medical reasons” because of a loophole in my insurance policy that allows early inductions starting at 20 weeks.

So, whose language matters in my case? The medical coder? My catholic hospital doctor? The legislators? The reproductive rights movement?

My question will always be, did I have an abortion? All I know is I have a daughter that no one will ever hold again. And I am forever grateful for the comprehensive care I fought tooth and nail to get. And I am extremely lucky to live in a city, to have a stable job, to have health insurance and to have known someone who knew someone who knew someone who happened to be an abortion doula.

The following poem was written in honor of our daughter, River Lee.

Cells Dividing in the Wrong Congressional District

Mutated by nanoscopic movements
Impossible to translate
    In that moment
    At such a scale
    Through conclusive mediums

Impossible further
If your momma lives
Too far away
        Or has to work
                   Or can't get a ride
                             Or has to hide
                         The stuff of life
Which governs maternal
​heartbeats


Then!
[if you have enough gas for an obstetrician]

An ultrasonic wave
Can reveal
A fragile becoming
With a chest-like structure
Tumbling around

The heart is prioritized by
Catholic hospital policy;
—despite the drumming excitement of noise
And vibrations
Coming from a single organ—

   This is where we found our River Lee--

A heart-filled creature
    A few chromosomes short
Snuggled inside me
On the wrong side of the tracks
Where legislators pretend they know
Better than your momma

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Heather Hyden lives in Lexington, Kentucky with her partner James Earley. She thought her biography would be full of career and academic achievements with a side note about how many kids she had. But, after losing her daughter last year, she has redefined herself and her life’s trajectory. She is still the Director of Community and Cultural Initiatives for a local Community Development Corporation and still has a M.S. in Community and Leadership Development, but more importantly she is a writer, mother, friend, sister, daughter and active advocate for reproductive justice. She is also on the advisory council for the Louisville Doula Project to support full spectrum doula training and advocacy for comprehensive care for women no matter where they are on their pregnancy journey. She’s also a board member at Community Farm Alliance where her passion for food justice and women’s rights collide.

God & Nature magazine is a publication of the American Scientific Affiliation, an international network of Christians in science: www.asa3.org